Reckless
by Jen2261
Summary: Rachel has never been a reckless kind of girl. She's always tried to think about things before doing them but right now? She doesn't want to think first. Thinking is the last thing she wants to do she just wants to feel... or not feel. Brochel. Westberry. Oneshot. Mentions of Finchel. Rated T for light smut.


**A/N:** Okay so Brochel has officially become one of my new OTPs. A lot of you know I'm not a Finchel fan and most you probably aren't either but we have to face that Rachel was hopelessly in love with him so I figured this would be an accurate situation even if it does involve Brody. She wouldn't magically be over Finn all of a sudden. Yeah this turned out a lot more angsty than I meant it to.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee or any characters involved in this story.

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Rachel tugged the sleeve of her sweater over her hand before tucking it behind her head and pressing it against the window. She could see her reflection staring back her in the glass thanks to the darkness of the tunnel. She was back in New York, back in her city, her brand new home, the greatest place on earth. If that was true and this was the greatest place on earth then why did she feel like she was in hell? The thought sent a fresh wave of tears to her eyes and she cursed as she squeezed them shut. She had just managed to get herself to stop crying and now it was starting all over again. Shouldn't she be out of tears by now? She'd been crying for nearly 6 hours, ever since walking on that stage and seeing Finn on the other side.

Finn.

If she was being honest with herself she knew it was over before it even began… again. He was her first love and they had been on and off for nearly 3 years, she knew how he worked. When she slid open her door and came face to face with him she knew right then and there that there was no saving their relationship. She loved Finn, God knows she did but he had always been insecure. Anytime she screwed up he would up and leave her. It happened with Puck and she knew it would happen with Brody as well. No matter how much she wanted to work it out she knew he wouldn't be able to get over the fact that she had kissed someone else. Even if the only reason she did kiss someone else was because she figured he had left her and moved on. What else was she supposed to think after not speaking to him for four months?

Not even a postcard.

By the time Rachel steps off the train, her tears have dried and she's managed to keep any others under control. She focuses on thinking about anything besides Finn. Just the thought of him makes her stomach churn as she climbs the stairs up to the street. She pulls her phone from her trench coat pocket and checks the time. It's nearly midnight, she knows Kurt will most likely be home by now and as much as she loves her best friend, she doesn't want to be around him right now. Not while he's just as miserable with his own situation with Blaine.

She could always go home and lock herself in her room but she'd feel bad. No, where else could she go? It wasn't like she didn't have choices, this was New York after all but she needed somewhere to think, gather her thoughts and come up with some plan on where to go next. The idea that she actually has to think about this tells her she was too caught up in Finn for so long and she winces.

She doesn't even realize she's walking towards a certain destination until she's in front of a building she knows all too well, NYADA. Apparently her subconscious thought of the perfect place because not only is the front door open, she knows for a fact that studio B stays open at all times for students to use when needed. She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest as she walks down the familiar halls towards said studio. When she arrives she's not shocked at all that the lights are on and it's already being used. This is New York after all and if she's learned anything, the students at NYADA are taught to never stop practicing. What she is surprised to see is who the person is.

"Brody…" his name comes out as a barely there whisper but he stops and turns to face her, a smile on his lips.

"Rachel, hey… glad to see you made it back safely" he says with a smile as he makes his way to the corner. Rachel sees his bag there as she carefully steps into the studio, her arms still folding across her chest as she looks at her feet.

"Rachel? Are you okay? I'd ask if you want to use the studio but you're not exactly dressed to dance. Unless you want to use it to sing and if so, I should warn you that the acoustics are horrible in here" he says and Rachel lets a ghost of a smile cross her face. She looks up at him through her eyelashes as he runs a towel over his face and takes a sip from his water bottle. She shakes her head to let him know that no, she doesn't want to sing.

He waits for her to say something else, anything but she doesn't. He drops his towel and bottle near his bag and walks towards her, leaning down to try and catch her eye. "Rachel? Are you okay?" he questions and stops directly in front of her.

Rachel takes a minute to try and compose herself but it's no use. She's been crying alone for hours but now that someone else is asking if she's okay, someone she knows truly cares about her, it's bringing the tears back. She looks up and sniffs, eyes watery and her face crumbling as she shakes her head.

Before she can apologize Brody is wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in for a hug. She gasps, trying to catch her breath as her arms wrap around his shoulders. Her boots bring her nearly to the same height as she clenches the fabric of his shirt in her hands and presses her face into the side of his neck. She can vaguely hear his soothing whispers in her ear over the sound of her sobbing. She can't really make out what he's saying but it seems to be doing the trick as she feels herself relaxing.

By the time she's left just whimpering slightly, Brody has moved on to humming in her ear. She lets him finish humming whatever song it is before she slowly pulling away to look up at him. He looks down at her, frown on his face. His hand reaches up to brush his thumb over her cheek as he stares into her eyes.

They stare at each other in silence before Brody breaks it, "What happened? Did you talk to Finn? I wanted to text or call you and see how you were doing after you called me in tears but I didn't want to interrupt anything you two were discussing or… doing."

That's right, Rachel called him the morning she woke up and discovered Finn was gone. She tried to talk to Kurt but he told her Finn didn't give him anything to tell her before he was once again sulking about Blaine who fortunately hadn't snuck out during the night. Rachel had been hysterical when she had called Brody and tried to tell him what was going on. Brody for his benefit just listened and tried to give the best advice possible as a friend and not as a hopeful boyfriend. He suggested her flying to Ohio and finding Finn to talk, which she had agreed to. He could only guess how it went if she was crying on his shoulder now.

"It's over. Finn and I… we're over" she says, looking at the floor and Brody bites his lip. She sounds so hopeless and defeated and he hates that sound in her voice. No matter how much he wanted Rachel to even consider him as boyfriend material, he never wished bad on her relationship with Finn especially if it was going to make her unhappy. It seemed it didn't matter what he wished for or not because this is what he got.

"I'm so sorry Rachel, honestly" he tells her, moving his hand from her face and back down to her shoulder. He watches as those eyes flicker from the ground then back up to look at his own. He looks at her silence for a while waiting for her to say something, anything. When she doesn't he asks a question he honestly means. "I… Is there anything I can do?"

Rachel continues to stare at him and it's starting to make him feel a little uneasy. He doesn't know what he expected out of her mouth but the next words that do come out definitely isn't it and he's a little shocked to say the least.

"Kiss me."

He blinks and stares, unsure of what else to do. He's sure he's heard her wrong and his mind is playing tricks on him but before he can question her again her hands are framing his face. He looks down into her eyes, confusion still written on his face.

"Kiss me… please."

He definitely heard right this time. She was asking, nearly begging him to kiss her and he wanted to, GOD did he want to but he used all of his self-control to shake his head. He reached up and placed his hands on her wrists as he looked down at her.

"No. Rachel you don't want this" he tells her. There's no way she could want this. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, a boyfriend he knew she was still in love with. She had just cried on his shoulder over him. She didn't want him to kiss her. Clearly she disagreed because in the next instant she was glaring at him as she took a step back.

"Don't tell me what I don't want! I know what I want and what I need and I'm so sick of people thinking they know better than me!" she yelled and Brody internally winced. He watched her as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration and looked around the room.

"Rachel I didn't mean it like that"

"Then how did you mean it? Huh? Tell me please because it sounded like that's exactly how you meant it!"

"I just meant that you're hurt and you just broke up with Finn. You don't want to kiss-"

"Do you not want to kiss me?"

She interrupts and Brody has to pause at the words. If she only knew how much he actually did want to kiss her. He had wanted to kiss her from the moment he'd met her and it only intensified the urge when he actually did get a taste of what those lips felt like pressed against his. He didn't just want to kiss her, the things he wanted to do to her she had no idea.

"Of course I want to kiss you I just-"

"Just what?"

"I don't want you to regret this Rachel. Your head is all over the place now. You're hurt and you're lashing out and I don't want you to do something reckless. I care about you too much."

Rachel closes her eyes as a few tears fall down her cheeks. God, he sounded like Finn did once upon a time. Once when they were young and in love and they loved each other. Just the tone of Brody's voice spoke more than any of the words coming out and she couldn't help but feel bad. She had done this, she was doing it now. He cared about her so much and she was standing here, in front of him crying over another guy. She had been crying about another guy to him all weekend and he had taken it in stride. She always knew she was selfish but this was so wrong. How could she be this selfish, he was her friend after all.

"Rachel?"

Her name coming from her lips had her glancing up. He was still looking lost as he stared back at her, a million questions floating in his eyes. She knew she should apologize and leave. She knew she should go home and cry to Kurt, or one of her dad's or any of her other friends that would understand. Save him the pain of seeing her so torn up over a guy that wasn't him.

"Brody, just kiss me. Please" But she didn't because she was selfish.

Brody stood in silence after her words. He knew it was wrong, he knew it wasn't what she would want in the long run but it's what she wanted now. Maybe it would help, he had no idea how but he just wanted to get that look off her face; the look of complete defeat and sadness. Without another word he was closing the distance between the two of them and leaning down to crash his lips against hers.

Rachel whimpered at the sudden movement, her hand coming up to press against the back of his neck and hold him there. Yes, the feeling of his lips moving so urgent against her own was exactly what she needed. It made her feel. Feel what exactly, she had no idea but it wasn't sadness. She didn't feel lost, or hurt, or hopeless and that was all she wanted.

She opened her mouth, inviting Brody to deepen the kiss which he did immediately. As their lips and tongues slid against one another she was taken back to a few night ago. A few minutes before Finn had knocked on the door and shattered everything. Back when it was just her and Brody in the middle of the floor with pizza and champagne and nothing else. Then when he had leaned towards her and connected their lips just as a test before pulling away. She knew he was looking for any doubt in her eyes but when he saw none he was right back to kissing her, kissing her hard and urgent and making her feel, exactly what he was doing now.

A gasp left her lips when Brody finally pulled away, their lips still a breath apart as their eyes fluttered open to catch the others. Rachel felt everything she had been feeling drift away and once again she was feeling empty. Her stomach was churning again as thoughts of the weekend began playing in her head again. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched the front of Brody's shirt.

"Please… make me forget" she begged. Brody hesitated only a few seconds before he was kissing her again. His hands pressed into the small of her back and pulled her closer. Her arms wrapped around his head, her hands finding purchase in his hair as he stood up straight, picking her off her feet. Reflexively she wrapped her legs around waist. She wanted to be closer, she needed to be closer.

She forced every other thought from her mind and focused on him; the way his body felt pressed against hers, the way his mouth made love to hers and the way she felt that familiar tug in the bottom of her stomach. She had no idea how she had gotten on the floor but as Brody's lips found their place on her pulse point she gasped and her eyes shot open, focusing on the ceiling above her. Her arms were sliding down to wrap around his shoulders, a hand coming up to press into the back of his neck. She needed to hold him there. Whatever he was doing with his mouth was heavenly and she couldn't get the sounds to stop coming from her lips.

She felt hands pushing into the flaps of her coat and knew the moment it fell open. A breeze of cold air brushed across the top of her thighs where her dress had ridden up. She raised her knees trapping Brody between them as her nails dug into the flesh of his neck and she threw her head back. What was he doing to her? Maybe it was something new she had never felt before or maybe it was just because her emotions were running haywire but she could already feel herself getting worked up faster than usual.

"Brody" his name came out in a breathless whisper as she felt his hand sliding up her leg and to the inside of her thigh before hesitating for just a minute. She understood his silent question immediately and widened her legs, inviting him to do whatever he wanted. Whatever he felt he needed to do to make her forget.

When those fingers finally touched her, even through the lace material of her panties it had her keening. A moan leaving her lips as she arched her body up into his but his weight kept her from going too far. His lips on her neck kept her from moving away from pleasure that was shooting through her body as he let his finger caress her through the fabric.

"Rachel." Her whispered name into her neck had her eyes opening again and turning her head as he raised his own to look at her. She knew her eyes were dark with desire and she was still panting and keening underneath him, rocking into those fingers that had stopped moving. Why had they stopped moving? She needed them to keep moving, God did she need them to keep moving.

"Please…. Please" she begged. She pleaded anything to get them to move or something. It must have been exactly what he was looking for because in the next instant his lips were pressing against her and she was moaning into his mouth as his fingers moved the fabric to the side and pushed into warmth. Her nails moved across his back, catching skin that wasn't covered by his tank top when they got to the top of her shoulders where they stayed.

"Oh god" she gasped as she rocked down on those fingers like her life depended on it. Brody met her for every thrust, pushing deeper and curling them to brush against her walls. It was driving her crazy and as she felt the coil in her lower stomach tighten she let her mind run free. All thoughts and frustrations of Finn and Lima and Brody and Kurt and Blaine and Cassandra and everything hit her at the same time as her orgasm did. As she keened, arched her back and dug her nails into Brody's shoulder blades tears leaked from her eyes.

Brody continued to move, watching the woman beneath him fall apart the way he had dreamt many night over the last few weeks. When she finally relaxed he stilled his fingers, keeping them inside her and waiting for her to open her eyes. When she did he found tears swimming in them and falling down her cheeks.

"Rachel…" he said as he eased his fingers out of her, wiped them on his sweat pants then sat up. He tugged her up with him then wrapped his arms around her as she fell apart again, in a completely different way. He wasn't sure if it was regret over what had just happened but for now he just held her. He held her because she needed to be held. He'd hold her for as long as she'd let him.


End file.
